Good Times

It's almost time for south by southwest (sxsw). Every year I get a little bummed out because I have no way of going to any of the gigs I really want to. A couple of years ago, though, I worked as stage security at Stubb's. It was pretty cool. I was one of those guys who keep the fans away from the stage and all that. Sometimes I break up fights, but not very often because so many of the people who come out to shows have spent way too much money to get thrown out for fighting. I saw the Beastie Boys and the Dresden Dolls and the Pretenders (not as lame as you might think) and Athlete, and some African band called Fema Cuda or something like that. Actually Dresden Dolls was a really cute and sexy show, but there wre a couple of rough and ugly looking drag queens that were bumping into people and starting shit. They were looking for a fight which they didn't get because Austin is a cool town and very openminded. I got them to leave without having to put my hands on them which is cool because I hate having to get physical with someone when I don't have to.
Actually, true to form, the worst asshole was at a closed industry party. Some guy affiliated with some production company was drunk and hitting on an absolutely flawlessly beautiful woman in the bar. She blew him off and , now I wasn't there to see it take place but I got there as soon as they hit me up on the radio, he pulls out his cock and starts pissing on her. The bar had pee on it somehow and she was screaming and pulling at her dress and trying to wash up in the ladies room. He was yelling that he would have us all executed etc. He must have accidentally hit the steel pole by the door about five or six times before he finally made it out on to the street. Good times. Not the ones I'll ever tell my kids about.