I've been looking for another gig to turn a few ducats here and there. Process serving is a drag, because everyone hates you and the gasoline prices are a killer. Grading essays is over, and so I am cast adrift looking for a way to turn a buck where you don't have to clock in like a worker bee.
I saw this one thing on craigslist today, looking for a part-time creative writer for a home decor store. Part of the app is to submit descriptions and images of three things found in your home. I looked at their website and saw that they have stuff like $25.00 place mats and a wall mirror for $250.00. All nice things though, and unique. I felt intimidated, but wrote down descriptions of a big canvas painting done by a friend of mine, a painted cat I bought in Italy, and a cool afghan my sister knitted for me.
This was too fun to stop at just three things, but I need this job so I decided to put some of the fun stuff down on my slog.
1. Old Dog: This venerable canine can be used as a throw rug or a self-starting litter box
cleaner. Ideal for homes with little or no activity, this malodorous cur from the
wastelands of the South will add rustic charm to any home. Comes in yellow,
Off-yellow, and dirty yellow. $10.00
2. Custom Wall Treatment: Add a touch of artistry to any new home decor. Abstract
designs done with found objects and discarded pens turn your expensive home improvements into gardens of expression and provacative new textures.
Shown here, modernized, costly paint surface modified and enhanced by scribbles of magic marker and refried bean paste, entitled "Eddie did it!!" By Libby Love studios. $899.00
3. Hip tunes floor mat: After a thoroughly messy session of sprinkler play and endless games of "Can we fill it with mud?", keep the party going by drying off with this unique towel, floor mat, sofa stainer, and cool vintage punk rock t-shirt that daddy got from his really cool friends in the band. Totally versatile and completely un-goddam-replaceable. (sob) $2.00
I really should open my own store.
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1 comment:
Now THAT'S good stuff. I hate to laugh at your expense, but that's some funny schick.
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