Travelogue

a beautiful Russian woman
with kind eyes and strong hands
 grabs me before i slip on
  dirty ice
and asks me if i am lost
  i want to say
that this feels like home and
      she is my first friend


            later, i am drinking in a narrow
bar, the linoleum and zinc
         are making love to the TV
with a football match
       nobody really cares about
          Dinamo still sucks even
on a brand new screen they look
             like last year
We're just here
        and i drink what everybody else does
          they still know i don't belong


  I have one pan and some tumblers,
           someone left a pot in the
     cupboard, which i plan to annex and
           add to my growing empire
There are 3 plates, and now i laugh at
         my ambition but secretly
 hope that i will need even more
         
     There are yellow lights
that make the snow look like sewage
          trees are fighting back from
inside their black metal cages

  I know the language
can read the signs and
      feel aware, but
not included while i know
       that these belonging to others
              is the only warmth
                   that matters here.

shithouse

Looking at you


i can't see myself
looking down at myself
going into you and out
of you
see the ceiling fan light
 eclipsed by you and
 your warmth against
my chin and nose
pushing down as if to break
me, your hands holding back the
wall,
there is a sound a woman makes
like she's throwing away
a heavy object
  but over and over
with wild air

cannot work you into
 a setting where you
  back your sweating
        ass up to me
 and toss your hair for
   me to grab
like poetry or moonlight

or even the delicate frottage of morning
          wood against your
      panties and all

no, not you
I want to hold you in
       like breath
and let you out in
 a great silver bubble
     on its way to the surface
           warmer and stronger
while I choke on the bottom
         my love for you
makes me want to open up my skull
             with pretty sparks and
                 wet smoke.